More Than Just Coffee

Six months ago I began a new job that is fully remote. Working from home has been a delight, but it has also forced me to find more intentional ways of getting out of my house and connecting with others. Don’t get me wrong, my introverted self is more than happy to spend the majority of my time alone without the pressure of endless office chatter or forced small talk, but I also know that too much isolation can become dangerous for me.

I set a fun goal for myself to help get me out of the house in the mornings. I wanted to visit every single locally owned coffee shop within a 5 block radius of my apartment. There are over a dozen, so I picked a different one each week. That’s how I found my way into my favorite mom-and-pop café. I had walked past it for years, and finally one morning I stopped in. Aptly named Nook, it is a little corner of rustic charm carved out in Center City Philadelphia. The coffee was fantastic and they have one of the best lemon poppy seed scones in the entire city. But there was also something intangible that drew me back there again and again. 

Over the past few months I’ve become a bit of a regular there, being greeted by Edna, who owns and operates the business alongside her husband. We make what some might consider small talk, but it’s not forced. And, I learned back in December, it’s also not just for show. 

In the fall, I was cat sitting for a friend in South Philly. I’ve done this several times, and have done so for other friends as well. I ended up staying at her place for the month she was away. It was just easier than going between two neighborhoods that don’t have a direct public transit connection. That meant I was gone from my regular routine for a month. When I returned Edna greeted me warmly and observed that it’d been a while since she’d seen me. I told her where I’d been and thought nothing more of it.

Fast forward to December. I went in for my coffee and scone, and she asked “Bee, do you dog sit?” I thought about it for a minute, and said, “I don’t currently dog sit for anyone, but I certainly could.” She proceeded to tell me she has another couple of regulars who were looking for someone to watch their dog while they’re on vacation at the end of February, and asked if I’d be interested in her sharing my contact information with them. I gave her my information to pass along, not really thinking anything would come of it. After she took down my information, her husband who overheard the interaction asked a very valid question. “How on earth did you know she pet sits?” And Edna gave a very simple answer, “She told me she was cat sitting a while back, so I figured she probably watches other kinds of pets also.” 

Between holiday travels and their winter break where they close for a few weeks (the only way they really get a vacation themselves), I didn’t hear anything else about this. That is, until I went back yesterday when they reopened after their break. It turns out the couple’s son is going to stay with the dog for their time away on this vacation, but they were still interested in connecting for future travels. This morning I got an email from the couple asking if I’d want to meet them and their dog, Sam, for when they may need a dog sitter in the future. It turns out, they live two blocks away from me. 

We’re making arrangements to meet up at Nook sometime in the coming weeks. It is such a simple and obvious series of events and circumstances. A cup of coffee. A simple conversation or two. One customer that had a need and another that might be able to fill it. A business owner who cared enough to take a little time out of her day to make that connection, and who seems to get genuine joy from doing so. I can’t help but think to myself, yes - this is how it’s meant to work. 

This is community. This is neighborhood. This is humanity. 

And yet, in this digital capitalist age, we are so often conditioned to remove all of those things from the equation. We have apps that let us order coffee and pick it up without ever having to speak to another human. We have websites that allow you to book services through an online form from the comfort of your home. When we do have transactional interactions that involve a customer and cashier, we’re trained to keep them strictly to business. Take the money, take the product, on to the next customer or task on your to-do list. 

Maybe that’s why this series of small exchanges feels surprisingly radical. Maybe that’s why I surprised myself by saying yes to this offer in the first place. Because yes, I truly believe that this is how it is meant to work. But it’s becoming an increasingly rare surprise when this is how it actually does work. 

So if you're looking for a little bit of hope in this world, visit your local coffee shop. Treat yourself to a scone. Have a seemingly unimportant conversation. Repeat. Notice the beauty that grows. Smile.