Healing Masculinity

This one goes out to all of the rare, spectacular men Who prove to me, with the way they live, time and time again

That chivalry is not dead, it is just poorly defined.

Because I can open the office building door just fine

But the locked doorways to the opportunities inside

Are the ones that I actually need you to open.

To the men who watched over me when I was their drunk friend Keeping the creeps away, ready to shelter and defend - It’s quite rare to find men who care with no expectations.

And to the ones I can call when it goes horribly wrong, When I’m haunted by yesterday’s traumas, or catcall songs, Your listening ear embracing my rage is a comfort.

To the ones who stay double parked in their cars by my door

Until they can see I’m safely inside, just to make sure,

Your gestures of concern for my wellbeing are cherished.

It’d be naive to pretend the world’s inherently safe

For not-so-tall womxn, queers, and the like. (I am no naif.)

Toxic masculinity can often outweigh your kind.

And to the men who advocate in ways I’ll never see: Calling out your friends, sons, and brothers for misogyny By saying “not cool” where laughter’s expected goes so far.

Because true masculinity is using your platform To advocate for womxn and confidently inform Others that machismo is not the measure of a man.

Without men like you it’d be unbearable to exist

In a world built on oppressive systems hard to resist;

One where I’m often told I’m fundamentally “less than.”

Because while you use one strong hand to protect and defend The other uplifts, heals, helps me find self-worth in the end. You remind me that you, a man, draw strength from our friendship.

So, please don’t believe the rumors you’ve undoubtedly heard That all masculinity is toxic - that’s just absurd. Please know that those sentiments are scar tissue from deep wounds.

I wish this world would stop shaming men who responsibly

Wear the mantle of strength in a way for others to see

That we’re woefully shortsighted on what “strength” really means.